Many partners understandably say, You did this, go fix it. And there is truth in that. Your experience of betrayal is real, even if it continues to be minimized, explained away, or gaslighted by your partner. Your partner must take ownership and oversight of their own recovery process. 

You did not ask for this relationship crisis. The discovery of betrayal impacts you on many interpersonal levels and undermines your sense of security, belonging, and worth. It breaks the foundation of your relationship vows, agreements, and shared values.

It is not unusual to experience intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, anxiety, emotional reactivity or shutdown, dysregulation, mood swings, a loss of trust in yourself or in the relationship, guilt, self-blame, confusion about what is real, or difficulty sleeping and concentrating. These are not character flaws. They are natural trauma responses to deception, sexual betrayal, and the collapse of psychological and emotional safety in your primary relationship.

You may also feel a deep resistance to having to address what has happened — the betrayal, the pain, the loss of trust. This too is natural.

You may feel isolated and alone with what has been revealed, without a clear path forward or sense of where you go from here.

We will work together to design your personal recovery path. A path to help you regulate and make sense of your psychological-emotional experience, manage triggers, individuate, find additional support and community, confront what is presenting, request honesty, and identify what you need to feel safe and secure in the relationship. A path to grow your awareness, reclaim your identity and self-worth, and express your authentic self.

Your recovery is of equal importance to your partner’s recovery. When both partners actively engage in their recovery process and bring their insights and growth back into the relationship, trust can slowly be earned again — not through promises, but through recovery actions.

Begin with your safety — psychological, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual.

It begins with you — your mind and body, your nervous system, your boundaries and needs, your clarity, and what you require to heal.

It begins with trusting your gut and honoring your experience.

Many partners feel pressure — internally or externally — to forgive quickly, move on, or rush toward repair. Partner therapy slows this down. Your healing does not depend on your partner changing quickly, or even changing at all. You deserve space to grieve, reflect, and consider what a healthy path forward looks like on your terms.

Partner therapy provides a stable, secure, and grounded place to make sense of what has happened to you and your relationship. When betrayal, secrecy, or sexual compulsivity is discovered, the partner often enters an emotional landscape that feels overwhelming. Shock, confusion, anger, grief, disbelief, and the deep destabilization of losing relational safety can feel unbearable.

We work together carefully and compassionately to stabilize the shock, help you reclaim your sense of reality and self-trust, understand betrayal trauma and its impact on the body and psyche, and separate your inner experience from the choices your partner made. Together we clarify boundaries, explore what safety means right now, restore agency and grounded decision-making, and support you in finding your needs, values, and desired outcomes as you face the questions What now? and What does healing look like for me?

Start where you are. Gestalt therapy describes the paradoxical theory of change, which teaches that change begins when you fully identify with and accept your present experience, rather than attempting to force yourself into who you think you “should” be. We will clarify your individual and relational recovery goals. Recovery begins to give rise to a self capable of honesty, a self capable of intimacy, and a self capable of living from integrity rather than compulsion or fear.

You may arrive feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of urges, secrecy, or compulsivity. You may feel emotionally shut down. You may feel trapped between the fear of being discovered and the fear of being alone. You may be entering a serious crisis after your partner’s discovery or confrontation. Wherever you begin, I meet you where you are, without shame or judgment. There are clear underlying reasons for why you have arrived at this difficult place.

Choose the therapist you feel comfortable with and with whom you can build a strong working alliance.

I have worked with many partners and have facilitated a partners group for over a decade, offering support and space to understand trauma responses, reclaim boundaries, restore self-trust, and gain clarity about your own healing — whether the relationship continues or ends.

We will assess your safety needs and the conditions that may indicate the need for a therapeutic separation — whether at home or outside the home — for a defined period of time.

If separation is recommended, we will create a clear separation plan, identify the recovery goals each partner will work toward, and name the boundaries and needs required for living together again in a healthy and secure way.

Partner therapy honors the truth that intimacy cannot be rebuilt on pressure, secrecy, urgency, or denial. If intimacy is rebuilt, it must be grounded in clarity, honesty, emotional safety, and the gradual re-establishment of trust based on recovery and reality.

We will assess whether you would like to have a supported disclosure process with your partner as part of gaining full honesty about what has taken place. You have control over the disclosure process in a way you did not have control over your partner’s acting out. This is your space to share the impact, ask questions, receive honest answers, and discern what you need to know — and what details you choose not to be exposed to.

It is often challenging to give your partner additional time to work on a truthful disclosure. It can feel unfair to remain in the dark after being lied to. The intention of a supported disclosure is to stop staggered or incomplete revelations and to reach a place where your partner can offer a full, honest, and accurate account. To give you the reality you have not had before.

This period also gives you the opportunity to reflect on what has taken place in your relationship, regulate your thoughts and emotions, and gain clarity about what you need. You identify relationship boundaries that protect your self-worth and support your value as you

My approach integrates Attachment Theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS parts work), Gestalt relational practice, Jungian Theory, mindfulness-based teachings, somatic approaches including Brainspotting, and trauma-informed couples work.