This is a purposeful working relationship—a collaboration shaped by clear intention. We have a limited amount of time together in the wider arc of things, and how we use that time matters. This work asks for an investment of time, effort, emotional energy, and resources, along with a willingness to participate actively in the process.

I want to get to know you—your background, your history, and your relationship. I want to understand each partner’s experience of the relationship, what has taken place over time, and what has brought you to this moment. This understanding allows us to work with what is actually happening, rather than what is assumed, avoided, or left unspoken.

A central part of this work is establishing a solid therapeutic working relationship grounded in honesty and trust. Many people carry experiences of being let down or disappointed—times when trust was placed in someone who was meant to guide, support, or protect, and did not. Caution is understandable. Trust is not assumed here; it is earned through consistency, transparency, and care.

Recovery often includes moments of disappointment—with the pace of the process, with outcomes, or with each other. There are also parts of the self that are skilled at deflection or finding fault elsewhere when things feel difficult. Part of our work is to build a strong therapeutic alliance that can hold these moments and persevere—so that if something is missed, misunderstood, or feels disappointing, we can stay engaged and work with it directly rather than withdrawing or turning away.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is a stable, truthful, and accountable process that supports real recovery, relational repair, and the possibility of authentic intimacy. This requires honesty with oneself and with others, the capacity to reflect on personal and relational patterns, and a willingness to stay engaged when the work becomes challenging.

As a therapist and guide, I provide clarity, guidance, and a steady therapeutic frame while remaining responsive to what emerges over the course of treatment. At times, direction and grounding are needed. At other times, curiosity, listening, and presence are what the moment asks for. This work is relational and experiential, shaped by both clinical theory and lived experience.

Clarifying the Direction of Your Recovery

This recovery path begins by giving voice and expression to what you already know and trust within yourself. That inner knowing is often quiet, obscured, or long unattended to, yet it is essential to the work ahead.

Together, we begin by clarifying your relational and intimacy intentions—understanding that these intentions will continue to evolve as recovery unfolds. One of the gifts of sustained recovery work is that what was once lost, buried, or never fully realized can be found again, or discovered for the first time.

I will often ask questions such as:

• What is the relational and intimacy horizon line you are wanting to reach?
• Where are you trying to go?
• How will you know when you have arrived?

Many individuals and couples begin this work without a clear destination. What is clear is that what has been happening is no longer workable or tolerable. The secrecy, the acting out, the betrayal, or years of emotional disconnection have created too much pain to remain where you are. That recognition is often the true starting point.

My role is to help you slow this process down enough to listen—to uncover what matters most to you, what you value, what you long for, and how you want those values to take shape in your relational and intimate life. If your intimacy template or attachment blueprint has been disrupted or broken, part of our work is to thoughtfully build a new one.

Intentions are not rigid outcomes or demands placed on the process. They are guideposts—points of orientation we return to when the work becomes uncertain, challenging, or emotionally demanding. They help us stay connected to purpose, direction, and meaning as the recovery path unfolds.

Theory matters when it helps make sense of lived experience and guides meaningful change.

Social scientist Kurt Lewin famously said, “There is nothing so practical as a good theory.” Evidence-informed, well-grounded theory supports effective understanding and action in recovery, healing, and change.

I am particularly interested in how relational and attachment-informed theory and therapy become practically useful in service of your relational and intimacy goals. Theory matters most when it helps make sense of lived experience and guides meaningful action, rather than remaining abstract or prescriptive.

In my work, theory provides a map. It helps reduce confusion, reactivity, and unnecessary wandering during times of crisis. It allows individuals and couples to understand where they are in the recovery process, what they are working on, and why certain structures, boundaries, or practices are being used at particular moments.

This work is grounded in Attachment Theory, relational and experiential practice, and a neurobiological understanding of how nervous systems respond to trauma, secrecy, and relational disruption. These frameworks directly inform how I pace sessions, establish safety, work with reactivity, support regulation, and guide communication and repair. They shape when we slow down, when we introduce structure, when we attend to the body, and when we focus on attachment needs between partners.

At the same time, theory is never applied mechanically. It serves lived experience rather than overriding it. I use clinical frameworks to orient the work while remaining responsive to what emerges moment by moment—emotionally, relationally, and somatically.

Theory provides structure, while real relationships are lived rather than theoretical. Recovery is not linear, and it cannot be reduced to a formula. The art is in bringing theory alive—using it to inform, guide, and make what matters known.

For this work to be effective, we must establish a working relationship where honesty and accountability can be practiced safely, consistently, and in real time.

Honesty with yourself and with your partner is the cornerstone of recovery. It is not a one-time event, but a continuous practice of awareness, ownership, and responsibility.

This is a demanding practice, and it can bring up fear, ambivalence, and uncertainty. My role is not to investigate or interrogate, but to help create the conditions where honesty can emerge and be sustained. This work cannot be built on partial truths or self-protective omissions, yet struggle with honesty itself is something we can bring into the room and work with directly.

Recovery also involves  inquiry. We look carefully at the patterns and habits that have maintained dishonesty—ways of managing the process or controlling outcomes through deception, minimization, manipulation, or concealment. Repair becomes possible when truth is shared and held within the relationship, particularly when it is hard, uncomfortable, or feels destabilizing.